I'll be taking some undergraduate English courses in the spring so I can apply for UK's Masters with Initial Certification in English Education program. Long story short - I'm going to become a high school English teacher. I am very excited, and while the transition has little to do with my current job, which I like for the most part, there are certainly a few things about the 9-5 world I will not miss. Alas, my first top 10 list:
1. Sitting no less than two feet from my boss' office so he has a direct view of everything I'm up to, and vice-versa.
2. Pursuant to said view, constantly being reminded that my boss spends about 80 percent of the work day on facebook.
3. Witnessing the naps that take up the other 20 percent of his work day.
4. Also pursuant to said proximity to boss, being known as the de facto secretary of the editorial department. I DON'T KNOW where he is, what meeting he's in, where he went to lunch or what color shirt he's wearing. Be gone.
5. Break room nazis. You know who you are. If I wanted your opinion on how my Brussels sprouts smell or the fat content of my pulled pork sandwich, I would've asked for it. And yes, the artificial sweetener I use in my coffee and the Diet Coke I drink on occasion may be burning holes in my brain, but I do not care to hear about it from you, break room nazi.
6. Hearing 12 versions of a certain co-worker's entire weekend, from what time she went to bed last night to her emotional breakdown after losing a plant to the first frost. I am not making this up.
7. Motivational signs and slogans. And not your typical motivational materials, probably purchased at Office Max or someplace similar. No no, my employer has made up its own slogan and subsequent artwork/posters/etc: "Be the one." I don't know what it means.
8. Having to pretend like I give a rat's arse about the newest projective capacitive touch technology or Coinstar's earnings per share or the next kiosk-industry tradeshow. Couldn't. Care. Less.
9. Being forced to travel with my boss, meaning I am not only editor and secretary, but also travel assistant, which in this case essentially amounts to babysitting a middle-aged man (e.g. holding his coffee and backpack while he ties his shoes in the middle of the airport terminal.) Seriously should've been getting commissions the whole past year and a half.
10. One word: Cubicle. Homey, organized and well-decorated as mine may be (that's Van Gogh on the wall), there is just nothing creativity-inducing about working in a roughly 6 ft. by 4 ft. space for eight hours a day. Makes me feel a little crazy sometimes.
Again, though it may not be totally evident from my list, I do like my job for the most part. I just can't get over how true-to-life shows like The Office are ... my boss is Michael Scott. Not sure who that makes me, but the point is ... I just don't think I'm cut out for the corporate rat race. So, I'm really looking forward to walking UK's beautiful campus again and to helping mold the minds of our youth! Onward and upward!
